30 October, or, Fish Out of Water.

So. I've been living in the UK for over a month now. I guess nearly two. I think this is the beginning or the continuation of a quarter life crisis. I hope this means I make it to 100 years old, because I'm 25 in 5 days.

I have a degree it's possible I will never use. I don't have a job. I don't have any goals. I seem to be out of ambition.

If only I knew what it was I wanted to do, then I could go after it. I had it in my heart to go to the university of my dreams since I was 11 or 12, and I went out and did it. Now I have a piece of paper saying I'm qualified in... what, exactly. I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts, I majored in Photography. See that? I upper-cased that Photography bit. It still seems to have a sense of mysticism around it.

It's too bad I've become disillusioned about it. Every person and their dog can own a camera and call themselves a photographer now. It was different when I was just starting out my degree, in 2004. (I graduated 7 years ago?! Ugh!) It still had a shroud of glamour about it. Now every hipster and every stay at home Mum seems to be offering their services as a baby/wedding/engagement/graduation/boudoir photographer for tiny amounts of money.

I suppose one could blame the rise of digital, disposable photography. I'm guilty too, I have my DSLR and I do love it. But it's changed the way we look at photography and therefore how I look at being a photographer.

The reason I'm doing all this self reflection, and it's in no way new, is due to my reaching and passing the goal of this University. Then this crushing feeling of, "Now what." Not that far off from feeling like free falling. Alice down the rabbit hole.

My next goal was to make my long distance relationship into a relationship. He lives in the UK, I lived in Canada. It was a huge time difference and it was becoming impossible. So I took the leap, I applied for a working holiday visa and now we are living together after pretty much 8 years of just visiting each other whenever we could.

But now, again, now what.

It's been 2 years at least since I did anything serious with my photography, even longer since I did anything art-wise. I want to change that. I just want to create things again while I navigate being a fish out of water in this new country (well, new to me). And here is where I start.