School photos and crazy hair.

So, I have weird hair. It's kind of curly, wavy and straight all at once. It is NEVER orderly. At the very least, I always have wings of baby hairs sweeping away from the sides of my face.

I don't think I ever got a photo day picture at school that I didn't have to get retaken. On the morning of the day, my Mum would shampoo, wash and dress me with a kind of grim determination I picture they use on angry but smelly rottweilers at dog groomers.

She would dry my hair and shellac it to my head with mousse, hairspray, nails, planks of wood, whatever was handy. Then, handling me like a bomb about to go off she would toddle me off to school and, accompanied by The Look, tell me to PLEASE keep my hair neat.

I tried. I really really did. I even brought my own supplies; brush, comb, hairspray... just to pounce on any infringements of decor my happy hairs would try.

This is what my Mum dreamed of hanging on the wall:

Note the cherubic smile, the beautiful waving hair, the sane look to my eyes.

This is what she got instead:

Note the crazy eyes, the wild witch of the west hair do complete with twigs, rat's nest and the lovely stain on my shirt. Yes, I'm also drooling here.

I'm sorry Mum. It's my cross to bear now.